All the Single Ladies

I was sitting in a meeting Friday afternoon with the entire marketing staff (all 39 of them) when I noticed something a bit odd. The department is overwhelmingly female. So around the table, there were 35 women and four men. We all were roughly 25-40 years old. Everyone was fit, fairly attractive, and based on the fact they were in the room…employed and relatively successful. Here’s what was weird:
Only one of the 35 women wore a wedding ring, yet ALL FOUR of the men were married. I found myself drifting to this phenomenon while the conversation moved from website design to social media. What was up with all these single ladies? ONE was married. ONE?!?
I started thinking about the women I had met in New York and realized that while some of them were in committed relationships, not one was married. I had to dig deeper.
It turns out the ladies from Sex and the City weren’t totally full of crap…it’s hard to get a man in this town. In fact, there are three single heterosexual women living in Manhattan for every one heterosexual man. In general, the women seem to be smart, driven, and very fit, yet walking down the aisle is a rarity.
Going to lunch at the deli across from the office, the dining room is full of women eating salads alone. The women are amazing here, too. They are primped, primed and ready. Between their weekly mani / pedis, monthly facials, and quarterly visit to the salon, they barely have time to walk down the street looking fabulous. Every day, I get completely made up for work. Every. Day.
I do my hair, put on full make-up and double check my outfit. I’m not necessarily looking for men, but a full primp is the expectation in this city.
I started talking to a woman after my group cycle class this past Sunday after she learned I just moved here. “New York is a tough town,” she said as I nodded in agreement. “There are people that learn after a year they really love it and there are people that learn after a year they need to get out.”
I continued to nod, taking this on as a challenge. So far, I was loving this town and I was hoping the love affair wouldn’t be short-lived. Then, she said something rather unexpected.
“I’m not sure if you’re dating or in a relationship, but there are a lot of women here who can’t find a man, so they move on. It’s hard. It’s really hard.” She quickly amended her personal situation by saying, “but not for me. I’ve been married forever.”
I found this incredible. I had personally noticed a lot of single women, but this conversation was all the validation I needed. Being single and female in New York was a highly precarious position.
I was at an east side bar the other night and not one, but three guys tried out this same line: “so, shall we go back to your place?’ Huh? Where’s the creativity in that? No double entendre, no inquiry into my astrological chart, nothing. But perhaps the come ons wee so unoriginal because they didn’t have to be. If one woman turned you down, there were two others lined up right behind her.
I was out with a friend last weekend in the lower east side and I told him if I were a man living in New York, I would never settle down – why would you? Odds are in your favor and the beauty is abundant. These women are well- read, coiffed, primped, polished and have likely just come from a class at the 92nd street Y on how to give a better blow job. This is a single man’s paradise. For single ladies...it's a challenge.