Who Exactly is Rushing in this Rush Hour?

Rush hour on the subway is generally the pits. I hate it. It’ s the first official thing I can say I hate about New York. It’s not a word I use lightly. Let me draw you a picture. 5:00 comes and you walk the four blocks (2 short, 2 long) to 42nd street. What seems like 27 subway lines converge on 42nd, so the place is swarming with bodies, all moving fast and in what feels like random patterns and directions, and all generally in your way. So you navigate this chaos of humanity to your line, file downstairs, and wait for your train to arrive. As you wait, that platform grows more and more crowded, filling up until you’re standing shoulder to shoulder. Literally. Both of your shoulders are touching someone else’s shoulder. Are you still with me? Trains are at either side of the platform so there’s a steady ebb and flow of movement – all cramped and stifling. When your train arrives, you have to push total strangers to be the first or second in line or you simply won’t make it on the train and you’ll be stuck in this growing crowd another five minutes.* So you elbow and push and squeeze your way to the front so when the door opens you can jump onto the train. If you find a space to stand, it quickly becomes non-existent as people continue to push their way onto the packed train. So now you’re standing there with your nose in some stranger’s shoulder and your butt up against another stranger’s briefcase. You literally cannot move.
There are conductors that act as over-zealous coaches in this process. They’ll motivate and cajole people over the loud speaker: “All right people, now move in…move in move in movinmovinmovin….we’re closing the doors…let’s go! Lets move…let’s go…move in…moveinmoveinmovein….let’s keep this going..come on people…” This is an exact quote from my train Tuesday night. It’s insanity.
The other day, heading home from work there was a group of children on the train. They all held playbills from the Lion King. The top of their collective hats reached the armpits of the other passengers. “Ugh,” the exclaimed aloud as we filed in an squeezed together, “it’s too crowded!”
“I hate this,” another one whined. “This is awwwwfuuuulllll.” I looked at them wearily as I realized they were voicing my sentiment exactly, they just had the luxury of saying it out loud.
Rush Hour on the subway gets the official thumbs down. Well, if I could move my hand that is….

* Note: If you are thinking five minutes isn’t that long, you’re not paying enough attention to the story. In this crowd, five minutes is an eternity.